Welcome To 2019 | My Year To Gain Weight

Today is making it a week since we got into the new year, so this is me officially saying ‘Happy new year and welcome to 2019’.

In 2018, I postponed a lot of things, including gaining weight but this year I’ve made resolutions to gain weight and I must fulfil them. That’s why I choosed this year’s theme as my year to gain weight.

I know everyone is all about saving/making more money or spending less money, reading more, learning a new skill blah blah blah… but all of that can wait until I gain weight this year.

Recently I saw one of my classmates in high school, she was just as skinny as I was back then but when I saw her, she was looking thick everywhere hian and I was like what have I been doing with food all these years.

Like seriously I’m just as skinny as I left high school that’s why my mates will just be recognizing me anyhow while I’ll be the one left shocked, confused and flabbergasted.

Nay… nay…smh that will no longer happen in 2019, even if it means I going into fattening room, I will, so that by the time I am out hehehe, by the time I come out eh, oh my God, nobody will be able to recognize me again.

In fact if you knew me before, my dear, you no go know me again. You will see me eh and say hunty good morning. Then I will tell you ‘Nay don’t call me aunty, just call me Maryanne’ hehehe.

As you are reading this post eh, I have started weight gain therapy already, yes oh it’s a very serious matter. 2019 is my year, 2019 cannod pass me by. ASUU can continue with the strike cause they are helping my ministry to grow, the longer they strike, the thicker I’ll be getting.

I’ve started eating banana mashed with milk already, Lolade’s sister recommended it for her but that is not how she said it sha but that’s how I want to do my own.

And you can imagine I was laughing at her that time, hope she doesn’t read this post sha.

So as I was saying, am I saying abi I’m writing 🤔, anyone abeg, English is not my first language, so if you know any weight gain therapy, just drop it in the comment section. Thank you. I will keep you updated.

Now that I’ve informed you that I want to gain weight, I can go back to my food in peace, incase you see me stuffing food down my throat, you won’t say hian Maryanne you’re eating too much. Yes in 2019, I’m allowed to eat too much.

[In phonetic] I’m a girl on a mission and henceforth, I mean from today you are duly permitted to call me the Nigerian girl that wants to gain weight. Thanks for your understanding.

Once again, welcome to 2019


(4) Comments

  1. Esther King says:

    Lol…. I had a good laugh. Hanty Maryanne, you must gain this weight oh, hahaha

    1. Yes oh my sister, by fire by force, 2019 is my year

  2. Ekemini Vincent says:

    Hanty I hope you have gained weight cause ASUU has suspended the strike

    1. I got the news my dear, I gained nothing … Chai 🙆

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