You Fail When You Think You Can’t Rise

Let’s admit it, everyone fears failure, we hate to fail, we dread it, we all want to succeed or who doesn’t want to? Most of us go extra miles to avoid failure because of the shame and disappointment that accompanies it. Even when we know that past and present successful people and great achievers experienced failure. But when we fail, we dwell on it and rent out a room in our mind for it, we still go on to allow failure to occupy not just a room but the whole apartment.

Permit me to ask why is it so hard to forgive ourselves when we fail and admit that we made mistakes, learn the lessons and move on? Abraham Lincoln as I read failed in business at age 21, at 22 he was defeated in the legislative battle, he failed again at 24, his fiancée died when he was 26, he had a nervous breakdown at 27, lost a Congressional race at 34, lost a senatorial race at age 45, he then failed to become Vice President at 47, when he was 49 he tried the senatorial race again and yet lost it.
But he never gave up

Finally at the age of 52 he was elected as the President of United States. He fought with all his might not to associate himself with failure even when failure kept staring boldly at his face and at the end he achieved greatness and had his name written on the Sand of time.

Do you also need me to mention Thomas Edison? That name rings a bell right? If you haven’t heard about him, know now that he repeatedly failed 10,000 times while he was inventing the light bulb. Yes you read that right: 10,000 times of failing without giving up.

So far I have failed too in some aspects of my life, I remember last year when I failed one of my courses, when I got to the result board to check, I saw F then I cleaned my eyes and looked at it again expecting that it was something else I’d seen but the F kept staring boldly at my confused face then it looked like the earth was spinning and hot tears had started gathering getting ready to drop I had to hold it back. It’s hard when you fail because you never prepared or had plans but it’s suicidal if you fail when you had put everything in place to succeed. I had fallen but I knew I had to pick myself up and run the race again.

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Recently I read that a female student in 100 level committed suicide because she failed a course. Such a pity! She didn’t take her life because she failed but because she couldn’t handle failure. She must have pondered on the shame of failing and kept seeing herself as a failure before she decided to make that hard decision.

If you don’t know how to deal with failure, it will capitalize on that and deal mercilessly with you. Dealing with failure needs you admitting that you ain’t a failure because you didn’t succeed, it is about you building up the courage to try it again. If you are able to admit your disappointment and accept your mistakes you will be able to move on. If you ask how can I keep failure and the fear of failing from frustrating me, let’s look at these strategies.

Accept that you failed. After that normal shock that comes with disappointment has died down, try to accept what had happened because it will be hard to move on if you keep blaming yourself, or you imagine that it never really happened and by doing this it will be easier to pick yourself up without regret. Try not to worry that everyone will be disappointed at you because you didn’t succeed.

Don’t personalize it. Accepting that you failed does not mean you should identify yourself as a failure. Try to let go of the regret and forgive yourself. Remember Abraham Lincoln refused to allow the things he failed at to define him, that’s why he succeeded as the President of US because he kept striving harder for the best.

Don’t hold unto it. Being obsessed with failure wouldn’t change anything and you will keep getting failed results. Failure has the ability to paralyse any bud of success that wants to spring forth and you give it chance when you keep occupying it. You do not have any power over the past but you can design your future. If Thomas Edison had dwelled on his past after failing 10,000 times he wouldn’t have invented the light bulb. The only reason you should remember the past failures should be to learn from them.

See Also  Letting Go of The Past That Hurts

Close your ears to what others say. Most times why we are afraid of failing is because of what people will say, because we don’t want others to be disappointed at us. We easily get affected by what people will say about us, this is normal but also remember that the life you live is yours and not theirs. When you fail know that people will mock at you but also have it in your mind that when you rise from the dust to succeed the same people will celebrate with you that’s life, so even when you are in the state of failing, block your ears to the opinion of others in order not to lose your passion and confidence to rise up.

Focus on a new view. Drift yourself and your mind away from negative thoughts, look at the positive side, pronounce positive words upon your life. I am not a failure, I can do it again, I need another chance to make it, I have learn from my mistakes, I am way smarter than before because of this experience… these are statements that can inspire you to strive harder again. There are things you must have achieved in life, look at those and smile again. Do not relax, pick yourself up and run the race again because you will surely succeed.

If you go down the history lane and have the opportunity to ask those who distinguished themselves through their great achievements, they will tell you that they also experienced failure which was like the pathway to their success. You are not a failure when you fail but only when you refuse to try again.

Denis Waitley said:
Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”

Happy New Month!

14 Comments

  1. Gossips Nation
    August 2, 2017

    Wow, this is amazing
    Happy new month hunnie

    Reply
  2. Maryanne Theodore
    August 2, 2017

    Happy new month too sweetheart, many thanks for your comment

    Reply
  3. Anjali Chawla
    August 10, 2017

    Lovely post! Motivating. The most difficult part is not to care what others think about you!

    Reply
  4. Jeenu Pillai
    August 10, 2017

    I will agree that failure is when you fall and do not rise. Keep trying and one day you will achieve success. I absolutely loved reading your blog.

    Reply
  5. Tifanee
    August 10, 2017

    Fear of failure. The struggle is definitely real. I think fear of failure is something that plagues everyone. It can be the catalyst for actions people make, causing a ripple effect. Fear of failure, or repeated failure, can also keep us from our dreams. Good suggestions at the end for how to deal with this.

    Reply
  6. onscreencloset.com
    August 10, 2017

    This really hits close to home. I'm working on the last step and surrounding myself with positive people and things that make me happy. Great tips!

    Reply
  7. Sauumye Chauhan
    August 11, 2017

    This is so well written. Failure is always another way to get up & work harder in life. I do feel down a lot of the times but if I even give up for a day, the next day I feel like I lost so much & they keeps me motivated to always work harder.

    Reply
  8. Maryanne Theodore
    August 14, 2017

    I agree it can be difficult but it is necessary. Thanks Anjali

    Reply
  9. Maryanne Theodore
    August 14, 2017

    Nice one Jeenu
    I'm blushing already, thanks

    Reply
  10. Maryanne Theodore
    August 15, 2017

    Nice one Tifanee and thanks for your comment

    Reply
  11. Maryanne Theodore
    August 15, 2017

    Such a nice step you took. Thanks for your comment

    Reply
  12. Maryanne Theodore
    August 15, 2017

    I've learned something from this. Thank you Chauhan

    Reply
  13. Marshalee McIntosh-Jin
    August 18, 2017

    Your post is very uplifting. I am happy I came across your blog. Thank you for all the positive words, I will share this post on my twitter! @ healthybymleee

    Reply
  14. Maryanne Theodore
    August 19, 2017

    It gladdens my heart that this post magically did something positive to you, maybe it was meant for you. Thanks

    Reply

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